[Trigger Warning: Rape, Rape Culture discussed at link]
Or, in which I attempt to alienate all my followers.
Mostly it discusses ways in which rape culture and sex positivity intersect, especially for people who are less sexual then is normative, such as asexual people, gray-asexual people, people with sex related triggers, people with autism who get completely overwhelmed by sex, etc.
Please give this a shot before getting defensive over the title - it’s not about supporting sex shaming or sex negativity or anything of the sort, but about the issues of how mainstream sex positivity has manifested as a movement, issues which can’t just be written off as part of a “fake” sex positivity and ignored, similar to how the issues with mainstream feminism can’t be written off as “racist feminism” or “cissexist feminism” and ignored, instead of confronted and fought and changed - there isn’t a fake movement and a real movement, and distancing yourself from the oppressive parts of your movement might make you feel better but they don’t make the movement as a whole any less harmful and oppressive.
That was a really interesting read.
I don’t usually pause on my dash to open a new tab and read an article, nor do I even often pause on my dash to read a long post on a touchy subject (e.g. rape culture). However, the title of this post was so unexpected to me, that I opened the tab and I read this.
While there are points where I think the OP could have phrased things a tad differently, there are actually a lot of very legitimate points in this post, and it doesn’t hurt to give it a read if you have a minute or two.
This is interesting. Brings up a lot of valid points but I am unnerved by the title; I think it’s a little too focused on specific issues. Sex positivity CAN be great, when done tactfully and respectfully. Just as it is unacceptable to imply that asexuals are dysfunctional, insinuating that celebrating an interest in sex rather than shaming it is endorsing of rape culture is also problematic. For the personal input: I am a sexual person who had an negative first sexual experience. I came out of it feeling as if no one would ever want to touch me, I was to pleasure them, and further so, that I wouldn’t be good at it. I still don’t watch porn because it’s triggering in regards to that incident. My “journey” of becoming comfortable with my own sexuality took a long time and needed encouragement, I’m still working on it. I perform with a burlesque troupe at my school (for a variety of reasons but partially because) I am using it as an art form that allows me to comfortably sexualize myself, to say “look, I can be hot and I can be sexual” without being objectified, morally defunct, or pathetic. And to get back to the blog, of COURSE, it’s hugely problematic to imply that people are obligated to give sex to their partners, but I think it’s also an issue if you ignore the equally common problem of feeling shamed for sexual desires, and the desire to be sexual with someone. I’m not going to call it slut-shaming because that’s not exactly what I mean, but to say that sex positivity is rape culture in disguise kind of disregards everything positive that has come out of/is intended by the movement.
“Leaving any bookstore is hard, especially on a day in August, when the street outside burns and glares, and the books inside are cool and crisp to the touch; especially on a day in January, when the wind is blowing, the ice is treacherous, and the books inside seem to gather together in colorful warmth. It’s hard to leave a bookstore any day of the year, though, because a bookstore is one of the few places where all the cantankerous, conflicting, alluring voices of the world co-exist in peace and order and the avid reader is as free as a person can possibly be, because she is free to choose among them.”—