“When we’re incomplete, we’re always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we’re still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on—series polygamy—until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”—
“This wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One of us has to go”
This is supposedly the last witticism ever spoken by Oscar Wilde, before he died on November 30th in 1900. Wilde suffered from an ear infection, as well as several other health issues stemming from the two years of…
I am a junior faculty member at UC Davis. I am an Assistant Professor in the Department of English, and I teach in the Program in Critical Theory and in Science & Technology Studies. I have a strong record of research, teaching, and service. I am currently…
“I’m grateful for anything that reminds me of what’s possible in this life. Books can do that. Films can do that. Music can do that. School can do that. It’s so easy to allow one day to simply follow into the next, but every once in a while we encounter something that shows us that anything is possible, that dramatic change is possible, that something new can be made, that laughter can be shared.”—Jonathan Safran Foer (via whendustdances)
With her passing, both the authors responsible for my development as a writer, the ones who showed me what I wanted to write, who started me down the path to my masterpiece stories that are truly me at their core, are gone.
R.I.P. Anne McCaffrey. Your books will always inspire me, no matter how old they are and how many times I’ve read them. I wish I could’ve thanked you for what you did for me.
“Like most women, I currently live in a society where violence, harassment and scary shit can break out at any moment, just because I told some random asshole “no” without bothering to be nice about it. Doing that is so dangerous that most women don’t dare; after a few scary incidents, they learn to make up excuses, to smile, to be sweet and welcoming, to act as if every single random asshole on the street is a precious new friend that they would just LOVE to stand outside of the Chipotle and chat with FOR HOURS, if only cruel fate had not intervened. That’s what it’s actually like, being a woman: Playing nice with every random asshole, because this random asshole might be the one who hurts you. And then, if he hurts you anyway, they’ll tell you that you led him on.”—
I feel so weird right now. I’ve been sick for a month and a half and I feel very out of control of my body, plus the cold has settled in and my right knee had to be wrapped on Saturday night (those of you know know me will know that I have weird inexplicable knee pain in the winters), and the doctor I just saw tried to bully me into a blood test for mono, which I decidedly don’t have, and then admitted that because I’m getting better, even if I test positive, I just have to wait it out, and the fact that I’ve even gone to see her twice is a huge step for me, I am so phobic of needles and doctors and all things medical. I feel like, with two exceptions, I am losing touch with all of my best friends and aside from physical health concerns, that is the worst part of my life right now, so despite this intense frustration with my body and my current state, and the fact that I feel like I can’t express affection or even talk to some of the most important people in my life, everything else is amazing so:
I’m so inspired to go out into the world and explore and learn and do things and read and bake things and clean and fix and work and improve myself, but I’m furious because of being physically held back and weird in my body despite the fact that so many better people have it so much worse, and despite how happy I am with my life and how I’m finally getting to a good place, the worry of losing these people is another thing I can’t control that’s holding me back. It’s weird getting to the point where I actually believe that I deserve to be happy and getting angry and frustrated about things like this when I would have previously felt that I deserved unhappiness.